Our trip to the Gulf

Greetings brethren. As my co-servant Mofe mentioned, I been on pilgrimmage to the Persian Gulf. This trip was result of a brainstorm I and few other men of God had back in October. We were trying to think about the weak points around the globe for our Good News mission. We looked at China but decided it was too big on map to conquer all at once. Someone at the back of the room muttered something about India, but I retorted sharply that the Hindoos are beyond redemption, what with worshipping rivers and trees and prancing around naked with their hair all tatted. At that point, we all went quiet - it didnt seem like our evangelical crusade was going anywhere sharp sharp.

Then pastor Yemi spotted the United Arab Emirates just beyond East Africa and mentioned that his friend Emeka had been doing mega business bringing the new Nokias in to our blessed land. At that point, a bright light flashed inside me and a commanding voice said unto me: Go forth to Dubai, for they know not the true God. I felt like Moses at the foot of the mountain.

We hadn’t figured on having so many problems with immigration at Dubai airport. Those arabs can be fussy people sometimes. Pastor Yemi suggested it was the sight of all our gold crucifixes dangling so closely together in one place that disturbed them. I disagreed and pointed out the centuries of arab hatred of we Africans. Them come before the white man to carry us away.

Fortunately, we had a number of prayer warriors in our midst, and the men with cloth on their heads soon gave way to our superior spiritual power. We were quickly on our way into the city. I must say, for a heathen zone, the Sheiks have done well. I found myself wondering whether there is a secret Christian inside every muslim, for how on earth to explain the majesty of so many buildings soaring into the sky. Then I remembered the story of Babel, and reminded myself that hubris is a 500 metres tall building. There is only one way to enter the kingdom of God: through fervent prayer. In Jesus name.

We were disappointed to find that there are no churches in Dubai, so we had nowhere to begin our worshipful campaign. Instead, we went to the Gold Souq. I availed myself of 3 Nokia N90s (I will be able to sell them on to senior members of our Church with a healthy margin). So there was a victory of sorts to our mission. We plan to go back before Easter next year and talk to the Sheiks about setting up a Gulf Coast outpost for our most celestial church.