Greetings brethren. As my co-servant Mofe mentioned, I been on pilgrimmage to the Persian Gulf. This trip was result of a brainstorm I and few other men of God had back in October. We were trying to think about the weak points around the globe for our Good News mission. We looked at China but decided it was too big on map to conquer all at once. Someone at the back of the room muttered something about India, but I retorted sharply that the Hindoos are beyond redemption, what with worshipping rivers and trees and prancing around naked with their hair all tatted. At that point, we all went quiet - it didnt seem like our evangelical crusade was going anywhere sharp sharp.
Then pastor Yemi spotted the United Arab Emirates just beyond East Africa and mentioned that his friend Emeka had been doing mega business bringing the new Nokias in to our blessed land. At that point, a bright light flashed inside me and a commanding voice said unto me: Go forth to Dubai, for they know not the true God. I felt like Moses at the foot of the mountain.
We hadn’t figured on having so many problems with immigration at Dubai airport. Those arabs can be fussy people sometimes. Pastor Yemi suggested it was the sight of all our gold crucifixes dangling so closely together in one place that disturbed them. I disagreed and pointed out the centuries of arab hatred of we Africans. Them come before the white man to carry us away.
Fortunately, we had a number of prayer warriors in our midst, and the men with cloth on their heads soon gave way to our superior spiritual power. We were quickly on our way into the city. I must say, for a heathen zone, the Sheiks have done well. I found myself wondering whether there is a secret Christian inside every muslim, for how on earth to explain the majesty of so many buildings soaring into the sky. Then I remembered the story of Babel, and reminded myself that hubris is a 500 metres tall building. There is only one way to enter the kingdom of God: through fervent prayer. In Jesus name.
We were disappointed to find that there are no churches in Dubai, so we had nowhere to begin our worshipful campaign. Instead, we went to the Gold Souq. I availed myself of 3 Nokia N90s (I will be able to sell them on to senior members of our Church with a healthy margin). So there was a victory of sorts to our mission. We plan to go back before Easter next year and talk to the Sheiks about setting up a Gulf Coast outpost for our most celestial church.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Friday, December 16, 2005
Decent Dressing and Society
Since our dear pastor and prophet are away on pilgrimage to Dubai, I have decided to leave a comment for you members of our church.
Yes, I am aware that women are not allowed to preach or deliver sermons or be head of any church. I speak to you as a fellow worshipper and not as a leader. In the absence of anything, spiritual garri is better than spiritual hunger.
My comment today is on the subject of Decent Dressing and Society. I have just read in The Tide newspaper, one of the most informed and righteous opinions on this subject. I would like to share it with you all. The link is here
Decent Dressing and Society
I will now quote from some passages
The contemporary Nigerian society is being plagued by a catalogue of social vices. Among these, indecent dressing by the womenfolk stands out very vivid as one of those most problematic anomalies that have destructively engulfed the Nigerian social system.
Indeed. In fact I will go so far as to say that Indecent Dressing is Nigeria's biggest problem. Bigger than corruption, AIDS, Plane Crash, Malaria and even demonic posessions.
The whole scenario is quite disturbing considering that this malady, called fashion, has turned out to be a breeding ground for many other societal malaises like sexual promiscuity, rape, prostitution, spread of sexually transmitted diseases, armed robbery, cultism and occult activities including a litany of similar other vices which have now assumed disturbing proportions.
Of course. I am very glad that this wise man (we know no woman could be intelligent enough to write this sort of article) added armed robbery to the list. Many people today forget that the main reason why armed robbers come to a house, is not to get away with cash or cars, but to enjoy the delights offered by the madam of the house as she lies in her bed invitingly in her flimsy night dress.
Let me tell you now, It is a mistake to think that just because it is night and you are tucked up in bed, you are not obligated to dress in a decent fashion. Morality is not just for the daytime.
Second, unavailability of resources may lead the men especially, the youths into robbery and cult activities just to meet the economic demands of the female partners.
An excellent point. As it is only an indecently dressed woman that makes economic demands and in fact, indecently dressed women are more likely than not to be the girlfriends, mothers, sisters, daughters and even grandmothers of armed cult-members and armed robbers.
These men steal just for the sake of their indecently dressed partners. They themselves are of course not greedy, or wicked, but as Eve turned Adam, so they have been turned by their bosom-exposing parners.
Of course, the ultimate child of the whole state of affairs include spread of diseases and death. The much talked about spread of HIV and—AIDS viruses at present bear a testimony to this fact.In the face of all these, and for the thriving of this ug1y trend, certain category of people, notably the female group, comprising girls, mothers and indeed the entire womenfolk are to blame.
This man is truly annointed! He is not afraid to point to the real wrongdoers.
It is a well known fact that women are 100% responsible, 100% of the time, for the rape and the spread of diseases in society. If they did not take part, there would be no rape, no diseases and no death.
Yes, it's true. If Eve did not eat that apple, we would all be in the Garden of Eden today.
But in this, they would fail without the co-operation and encouragement of some men especially the sugar daddies.
Another excellent point. Just as it is a well known fact that women are 100% responsible 100% of the time, Men are 50% responsible 90% of the time. This is a lesser known fact.
The bottom line is that men, as normal human persons should strive to exercise themselves from finding excuses for animal behaviours, but shou1d remain dogged in the exercise of their power of self control in the face of any temptation to do the contrary. This constitutes the core measure vis-a-vis laying to rest, indecent dressing with its inherent dangers to our society.
Exactly. Just as women are also always the cause of the problems, The men are the only ones who can find the solution.
And at this point, I would like to give a direct quote from the bible. Please Note: I am not preaching, merely highlighting a passage.
Mark 9:47
And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell,
While 80% of the problem is that women are dressing indecently, The remaining 50% is that men are looking at them. Why is it that these men are not plucking out one or two of their eyes? This is a clear instruction. There is no confusion to interprete. I ask the question, Where are all the one-eyed men?
Anybody who has any suggestions as to how to make eye-plucking more mainstream in the 21st century is welcome to post their ideas on this forum.
Eye-plucking will rid our society of armed robbery, disease, corruption and cultism.
Yes, I am aware that women are not allowed to preach or deliver sermons or be head of any church. I speak to you as a fellow worshipper and not as a leader. In the absence of anything, spiritual garri is better than spiritual hunger.
My comment today is on the subject of Decent Dressing and Society. I have just read in The Tide newspaper, one of the most informed and righteous opinions on this subject. I would like to share it with you all. The link is here
Decent Dressing and Society
I will now quote from some passages
The contemporary Nigerian society is being plagued by a catalogue of social vices. Among these, indecent dressing by the womenfolk stands out very vivid as one of those most problematic anomalies that have destructively engulfed the Nigerian social system.
Indeed. In fact I will go so far as to say that Indecent Dressing is Nigeria's biggest problem. Bigger than corruption, AIDS, Plane Crash, Malaria and even demonic posessions.
The whole scenario is quite disturbing considering that this malady, called fashion, has turned out to be a breeding ground for many other societal malaises like sexual promiscuity, rape, prostitution, spread of sexually transmitted diseases, armed robbery, cultism and occult activities including a litany of similar other vices which have now assumed disturbing proportions.
Of course. I am very glad that this wise man (we know no woman could be intelligent enough to write this sort of article) added armed robbery to the list. Many people today forget that the main reason why armed robbers come to a house, is not to get away with cash or cars, but to enjoy the delights offered by the madam of the house as she lies in her bed invitingly in her flimsy night dress.
Let me tell you now, It is a mistake to think that just because it is night and you are tucked up in bed, you are not obligated to dress in a decent fashion. Morality is not just for the daytime.
Second, unavailability of resources may lead the men especially, the youths into robbery and cult activities just to meet the economic demands of the female partners.
An excellent point. As it is only an indecently dressed woman that makes economic demands and in fact, indecently dressed women are more likely than not to be the girlfriends, mothers, sisters, daughters and even grandmothers of armed cult-members and armed robbers.
These men steal just for the sake of their indecently dressed partners. They themselves are of course not greedy, or wicked, but as Eve turned Adam, so they have been turned by their bosom-exposing parners.
Of course, the ultimate child of the whole state of affairs include spread of diseases and death. The much talked about spread of HIV and—AIDS viruses at present bear a testimony to this fact.In the face of all these, and for the thriving of this ug1y trend, certain category of people, notably the female group, comprising girls, mothers and indeed the entire womenfolk are to blame.
This man is truly annointed! He is not afraid to point to the real wrongdoers.
It is a well known fact that women are 100% responsible, 100% of the time, for the rape and the spread of diseases in society. If they did not take part, there would be no rape, no diseases and no death.
Yes, it's true. If Eve did not eat that apple, we would all be in the Garden of Eden today.
But in this, they would fail without the co-operation and encouragement of some men especially the sugar daddies.
Another excellent point. Just as it is a well known fact that women are 100% responsible 100% of the time, Men are 50% responsible 90% of the time. This is a lesser known fact.
The bottom line is that men, as normal human persons should strive to exercise themselves from finding excuses for animal behaviours, but shou1d remain dogged in the exercise of their power of self control in the face of any temptation to do the contrary. This constitutes the core measure vis-a-vis laying to rest, indecent dressing with its inherent dangers to our society.
Exactly. Just as women are also always the cause of the problems, The men are the only ones who can find the solution.
And at this point, I would like to give a direct quote from the bible. Please Note: I am not preaching, merely highlighting a passage.
Mark 9:47
And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell,
While 80% of the problem is that women are dressing indecently, The remaining 50% is that men are looking at them. Why is it that these men are not plucking out one or two of their eyes? This is a clear instruction. There is no confusion to interprete. I ask the question, Where are all the one-eyed men?
Anybody who has any suggestions as to how to make eye-plucking more mainstream in the 21st century is welcome to post their ideas on this forum.
Eye-plucking will rid our society of armed robbery, disease, corruption and cultism.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
And the lord will bless this blog
Our church is too defended to be a victim!
Amen!
Our church will defeat all forces of darkness and enemies of the faith!#
Amen!
Our church will bring deliverance to all those who suffer!
Amen!
Especially to those with incurable diseases!
Amen!
Our church will give the wretched of the earth hope, will send devil-worshippers to Hell, will bring the Angel's blessings to we mortals!
Amen!
Above all, our church will make our nation (Nigeria) the most powerful nation on the planet, with nuclear weapons and everything!
Amen!
Amen!
Our church will defeat all forces of darkness and enemies of the faith!#
Amen!
Our church will bring deliverance to all those who suffer!
Amen!
Especially to those with incurable diseases!
Amen!
Our church will give the wretched of the earth hope, will send devil-worshippers to Hell, will bring the Angel's blessings to we mortals!
Amen!
Above all, our church will make our nation (Nigeria) the most powerful nation on the planet, with nuclear weapons and everything!
Amen!
Welcome Statement
Dear Believers,
Are you
-stuck in a rut at your present church?
-unable to find a life-partner, inspite of fervent prayers and regular tithing?
- still awaiting promotion at work, after years of steadfast dedication?
- still riding the bus while your friends are cruising in BMWs?
- fat?
-worried that your enemies might prosper?
Then The Church of Greener Pastures is for you.
Join today and take advantage of our special Hotline to Heaven Offer.
We guarantee an answer to one of your prayers, or half of your tithe back!
Are you
-stuck in a rut at your present church?
-unable to find a life-partner, inspite of fervent prayers and regular tithing?
- still awaiting promotion at work, after years of steadfast dedication?
- still riding the bus while your friends are cruising in BMWs?
- fat?
-worried that your enemies might prosper?
Then The Church of Greener Pastures is for you.
Join today and take advantage of our special Hotline to Heaven Offer.
We guarantee an answer to one of your prayers, or half of your tithe back!
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